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Life on board

Having always been a bit of a people watcher I find it very interesting the different reactions people have when you tell them that you actually live on board your boat in a marina. The reactions range from shock / horror type. "Oh no, how can you possibly do?" Or just cold contempt, "Hmm, Well I can not bear to live on a boat, I could not squashed up like sardines in a can! "There is even a muttered inferred that because you do not step away from the four sleep from a tapped gold, pink tiled bathroom, that you have a bit of a grub or worse, a member of the terrible species that frequent bars marina …. "The sailors grotty!" May Allah save us from such horrors!

Granted, it does seem rather a fact of life that the farther you live from the actual marina clubhouse your boat, the greater the proportion of the wrinkles in your shirts and jeans, but at the end of the day, it's not really a hanging offense, is it? All boaties are a bit like that, right? I have some very smart sailors species belonging to my club seem to have barely escaped from a wind tunnel with hairstyles to match, but then again a lot of them seem to own open-top Mercedes sports cars.

Living aboard in a marina is a bit of a double-edged sword, I know. Like everything in life, there are pluses and love, in many different ways. The minuses may some day, far outweigh the pluses, but hey, life goes on. What are the downsides? Well, this difference horror content depending on whether you swing on a mooring or marina berth. When we are kind of swing mooring out of the way first. In nice weather, nothing (they assure me) beats the rest and loneliness and the feeling of freedom, away from the rowing neighbors and barking dogs. It should be idyllic, I'm sure, except for the endless procession of boats in the past lean your porthole every two minutes during the weekend. However, (I shudder as I write this, actually) as the barometer and a southerly buster deposit fluctuations in the direction of our little spot of heaven on earth promise black rain clouds and howling storms, my heart really goes out to them. I have often stood at the porthole, cozy in the cabin, on a nasty day watch small sailing dinghies along flooded out of darkness filled with squat forms and sopping dogs whose eyes fixed on the nearest lamppost land borne. I feel just applauding loudly on their True Grit and amazing tenacity. It's a hell of a lot cheaper there and I really feel the club should grant permanent members with bravery medals and give them free dinners, like most of them are the most loyal sailors among us. I must admit I am curious to know how some bosses behave when one of their employees walks into work on rainy days when they were looking over the Niagara Falls, and washed down with a hose. Says: "I live on a boat" only seems make it worse somehow.

But let's move on to the next hardy species, the 'marine berth' dweller. Again, distance from The shower and toilet in the game, but the farther away you are the less able you are to the warbles and crashes of the house band whose choruses repeat of the bloody "Mustang Sally" for twelve weeks on end in the summer is almost hear much to bear. Additional disruption of the giant washes Riviera owners who roars from the marina at 15 knots dispose of your dinner your lap, and when the wind is southerly sound of crashing waves against the stern drowned all speech. Unless you've actually tried to sleep in a washing machine you will realize why boaties usually walking around glassy eyes. It's not just the rum I can assure you. Even money, or the distinct lack of it, dictates your life amenities. There is really no Compared with the rich live aboards on a Dyna towers eighty feet above us mere mortals who live a little hermit crabs in wooden bowls, as in the giant shadow of their exhausts.

However, on a sunny Sunday, we all become like one. Out on deck, clustering around the barby (the Great Aussie leveler twixt rich and poor) with visitors and friends gargling Happy in their chardonnay, banging on about how lucky we are to be here, etc etc. and if the fat chunks go over the side into the boiling gangs of frenzied bream, they croon about by how great it would be to eat fresh fish every day, for free. Of course, we dare to burst their bubble of fantasy by telling them exactly why they hang out under the boat until the clarion call of the toilet pump, it just would not be fair. Eating one of them little suckers and you wake up with a crowd around you with tubes in the places you do not know you had! As for the bream, they are striking out and piranha will eat anything if their blood up. I've often wondered what would happen if a small child grabbing a sausage collapsed deck, among many snapping jawed killers. I dare not think.

There are some funny incidents from the marina and I remember with horror the first time I unknowingly arrived for my first shower. Humming happily, I stopped dead in my tracks after walking in the showers, just to see through the clouds of steam, a bunch of nude men, all Happy foams. Communal showers … Oh no! As a Pom I guess I must naturally timid, never to have public education, of course. This was a shock. Desperate, I looked around to see if there were separate cabins and there was … but one. Problem was some black heart Fiend had scrawled in large letters above the door, "Wooses Corner '. I was sunk. Bugger. I had no choice. Ok it had to be fast and frothy. I threw all my stuff, who casually and slipped the farthest faucet vacant. Modest to the wall, I soaped up, there was more to come.

One of the misty figures were a big, jolly old salt, round belly and white beard. He was happy and laughing Larking around with all others. I happened to notice that unfortunately he was unhappy with one of natures, is poorly placed at the end of the queue to nature bestowed her gifts to man. The thought actually crossed my mind he had an unfortunate and terrible accident, but no, there were signs of the stay, although mini button mushroom size, to say the least. Suddenly, the steam strode another figure, Adonis in the flesh. Six foot plus, brown, handsome and long hair … length of something else that he was God and a man, we all fell silent as He walked proudly to the shower, with its clever (and enviable) share of natural resources. Before he could reach to turn on his tap, the bandy old white salt had your hair ran at him, hands on hips and guarded him miraculously up and down … finally he laughed aloud and said, "Jesus mate, you're Bloody Beautiful, are not youze" I 've never heard so much laughter in the shower of a man much later that evening in the bar, I saw Adonis and the crusty old salt with a drink. It occurred to me that I had a shower and a beer, with probably the largest and smallest members of the yacht club shared! Fortunately, for my dented pride I announce the showers are rebuilt and in the cubicles abundance!

Another funny thing happened on one day as I sat in the stern of my boat. I heard a splash and turned around to see some large ripples pooling around the stern of an abandoned boat. I had seen the parents and children to leave earlier, so no one on board had heard nothing. As I looked, I saw a black stick to the surface and start to head out away from the boat. I believed that it must have a fishing rod, handle full of air. Jump into my boat, I determined to stick to save it back on the yacht. When I got closer, sure enough I saw that a pole so I grabbed him and pulled it on board. It had not occurred to me that something had pulled, I assumed that she had fallen in. Suddenly the rod clattered and to my shock the line taut as a string and pulled the head right around the dinghy. Surprised, I was sitting there wondering what the hell was that was towing my boat but what it was, it must be enormous. (It did not help that my partner, Nicky, who was nice and safe on the deck of our boat, loudly humming the theme tune to Jaws) I nervously picked up the rod and reeling like crazy, the rod bent and I finally saw a big shadow rise from the depths. Horrified, I saw it was probably a huge ray, about four meters long … The wings were great and it looked really peed off. Fortunately for me, it gave a wrench and dived back down the line to break. Shaken, I quickly rowed back and left the hookless rod back on the boat. I did not tell the kids when they later returned, but I bet they wondered what had chomped their hook and sinker. What I concerned, I still have visions of those big eyes and that damn big spike rising out of the water. I'm not so sure about fishing now, after all is said and done and I really pontoons like to walk in the dark at all!

Some have made forfeit aboard as well. Many boats have cabins so small that if you turn round quickly met yourself into, but you get used to it, except, God forbid, if you happen to more than 5 '3 "tall. You can then develop a peculiar kind of cracked and crab, including walking, that you immediately announce a nautical type. TV can also be taxing. One must be patient if, if like me you like F1 racing for example. After the meeting to 2.30 in the morning, the race is close to an end with the leaders neck and neck. Suddenly a gust of wind blows the head off by about 2 degrees and you already snowy picture disintegrates into a full blown arctic blizzard of sound effects to adjust. Who won? Who cares? Yes, couch potatoes need not apply.

But overall, positive and negative aside, I consider myself lucky that one of the fortunate few who can not afford four hundred grand shack on a block of expensive Gold Coast bush and have therefore made with all the pleasures and limitations of living in a cave that long wooden floats. However, the actual realization that one day when my ship comes in (and I'll probably wait at the station waiting for the train) and I finally become rich, I'll be the enviable ability to bring myself adrift on the tide and let the gentle current drift northward me direction to the Mecca of all boaties, the Whitsundays, where can I twelve U.S. dollars rum and coke, crushed to drink among the thousands of backpackers chun inc lazy brushing aside the hordes of mozzies eager to share my blood alcohol laced … heaven on earth will finally be mine.

Until then, dear reader, take heart in the fact that until that distant spot in time, I will have to trudge daily to the showers (and back) in all weathers, waiting endlessly for one of the old cold water washing machines (we can use) and thankful receive a few pennies off my beer, brave the scorn of the members so rich they do not even own a boat, dreaming of the day I can throw the ropes that bind me to the present and sail away in a pink-tinged future complete with my damp bed and an eager crew of cockies. Life on board? …. Would not be dead to quids, shipmates … head due North, I hear tions.

If you liked this article, there are more in the same spirit found in his http://www.dolphinboatplans.com

About the Author

Terry Buddell is a freelance writer, boat builder and marine surveyor who lives a board his yacht the “Nicky J Miller” in , Queensland Australia. Terry has designed a series of boats that he sells from his website on the net and also built his own 42′ yacht which he refers to as “his filthy old lugger’. Terry writes for several boating magazines and he is is only too happy to help people who wish to build their own boat from a dinghy to a yacht and his contact details can be found on his website http://www.dolphinboatplans.com

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